The Power of Asking

A year and a half ago, I read a very special book that changed my life. It had a simple concept, that when applied could make many of my wishes come true. That book was The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, that opened my eyes and mind up to the power of asking. The basic premise of the book was taking control of your life by asking for what you want. It explained that we don’t receive the things we want and deserve, because we simply fail to ask for them, whatever they might be – extra free time, bigger wages, a better service, more affection, longer vacation. This is not a review or a summary of the book but an introduction to asking and receiving.

The number one reason that people don’t get what they want is they don’t ask. If there’s something you want, you’ve got to know how to ask for it. You might not always get what you want, but if you don’t ask, you guarantee not getting it. Many times we think that we’d be offered something if it was available to us but it doesn’t work like that. People aren’t mind readers. They don’t know what we want until we put it forward to them.

You can ask for what you want in every situation of your life, at any moment, at any age, in business or personal life. Don’t hesitate to ask.

These are some of the common barriers to asking:

No knowledge of asking: We don’t realise that if only we asked, we’d receive.

Fear of rejection: The number one reason they don’t ask is a big fat fear of rejection, a five letter word called pride. You need to first realize you have nothing to lose. You didn’t have what you want before, and if you don’t get it now, at least you tried. You lost nothing. But chances are, you got what you wanted.

Perceived weakness: Too often we think it shows weakness or vulnerability to ask questions or to ask for something we want. The contrary is true.

Low self-esteem and confidence: A general feeling of unworthiness, a belief that “your needs” are not important.

Ignorance and not knowing how to ask: Sometimes this is the biggest barrier. We don’t know what is available to us, we don’t know what to ask for and how to ask for it.

How to ask:

Be specific: Be detailed about what you would like – what percentage increase, what colour shoes, how many days off. Be vague and receive vague. Be specific and the results will be far more desirable.

Ask for what you want, not for what you don’t want: Be positive in your approach to asking. Don’t ask somebody to stop being late, for you are reinforcing the lateness. Instead ask them to be on time.

Ask the right person: You have to pose the question to somebody who has the power to grant your wish.

But ask thoughtfully. Remember the phrase ‘Be careful what you wish for, for you just might get it’ exists for a reason. It’s absolutely true. To use a much abused cliche, ask and you shall receive.

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*Image Credits : Pictures by Moriza, Dustin Diaz, Toni Blay on flickr.

Work-out Wear: What Works and What Doesn’t…

Fitness Fashion Faux Pas

Yes, fitness apparel or workout wear is supposed to be comfortable, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look stylish and fashion forward at the same time. If you believe the gym is the one place you can literally roll out of bed, throw on some old shorts or baggy old sweats and a t-shirt and show up without anyone batting an eye, think again! While the gym is primarily a place for exercising and working out, it’s also a prime spot for people watching and meeting new people for making friends. Your choice of comfort clothing can say a lot about you and be a way to make a statement about yourself, so you really don’t want to be sending out the wrong message. So even at the gym and the simplest of clothing, there some basic fashion rules in order to work it out right!

Here’s a look at some Tips on What Works and What Doesn’t in Fitness Fashion-

• Don’t over do it. You don’t want to be that woman decked out in shiny tights, bright leg warmers, the wrist sweat bands and headbands and every workout accessory known to man. Keep it simple, plain and modern, you don’t want to send out the ‘I’m stuck in the 80′s’ vibe.
• Don’t under do it either. If you’re one of those lucky people with the perfect abs and well toned body, I know you’re dying to show it off. But there is such a thing as exposing too much skin. Most of the your other exercisers will agree that while you may look great and be proud of yourself, it’s not nice to rub it in everyone’s faces.
• Underwear…Don’t exercise in it and don’t exercise without it. What I mean by that is, exercising in only your boxer shorts, bras or anything else that looks like underwear should be avoided at all costs. Seeing people stretch in their tighty whiteys is unpleasant for everyone around you. On the other hand, for the sake of comfort don’t skimp out on wearing any underwear at all under those baggy shorts or a bra under that tank top.The last thing you want is to give other gym-goers an eye-full of something they may wish they hadn’t gotten.
• Wear the appropriate innerwear. On the subject of under garments, it’s just as important to wear the right kind, especially for women. Regular bra during workouts more often than not, don’t offer enough support which can be both uncomfortable for you and unsightly for others (or draw too much attention, if you know what I mean!). Look into and sports bra or an exercise bra for extra support.
• Flip-Flops and Jeans are a No-No. Wearing non-athletic shoes while working our isn’t just a fashion faux pas, it’s also dangerous and could lead to injury if using the treadmill or other exercise machines. The shoes you wear for exercise are probably the most important part of your workout wardrobe, the provide padding and work as shock absorbers, the also provide the much needed grip for many exercises, so invest in a separate pair of gym sport shoes especially for working out. Jeans are just not appropriate exercise wear, they don’t have near as much stretch as you require to be comfortable and allow you the freedom of moment. Wear appropriate athletic clothes when working out.
• Wear comfortable but not worn out. It’s ok to sweat, get a little stinky and dirty when working out, that’s shows you’re actually working out, but don’t come to the gym in clothes that already emanate a disturbing stench or bear suspicious stains. And similarly wearing clothes with giant holes or that are so worn they don’t look like they’ll tear any second should definitely be avoided. If you insist on wearing that favorite old t-shirt of yours past it’s expiry date, at least make sure it’s clean and presentable, if not save it for when your not out in public.

*Image credits: yogacarashop.com (Bright White capri pants with contrast stitching), photos by YoGeek Mami and lululemon athletica on flickr

Connecting with Nature: Yoga and the Outdoors

Let’s face it. Even the most dedicated yoga practitioners sometimes lose focus. When studio or home becomes stifling, mix up your workouts with occasional outdoors practice and it will truly invigorate you and your routine, by awakening your senses, enhancing your focus, and helping you reconnect to the natural world.

Sadly, for most people, the outdoors is a place where they commute, purely transitional from one indoor space to another. They lack consciousness of the natural world, as they never fully experience it. Yoga outdoors will reward you with the awareness of the outside space, and a renewed presence of mind. Many studios have beautiful ambient lighting, or burning incense that create a distinctive mood once you enter but many are just a mere recreation, a replica of what nature has to offer. Sunkissed mornings, pleasant smells and fresh air. In the outdoors, you practice yoga with a certain awareness, taking careful note of your surroundings and feeling the true connection with the universe, as yoga (meaning union with the Supreme) intends. Enjoy the warm summer morning or the pleasant chill of autumn, dewy grass beneath your feet or a pink sunset as you practice stillness.

Take careful note of your surroundings and feel the true connection with the universe, as yoga (meaning union with the Supreme) intends. Ever consider why so many asanas reflect nature, animals especially? Enjoy the warm summer morning or the pleasant chill of autumn, dewy grass beneath your feet or a pink sunset as you practice stillness in the elements. Weather permitting, choose the time of the day that feels best and head out in your favourite yoga apparel with your mat or without if the terrain allows it. Find your rhythm in a spot you feel at ease. It doesn’t have to be far from home, not everyone has access to a lush forest or a peaceful riverbank. Your own backyard, Central Park, the beach, a tiny creek, a terrace garden, any location you feel is right will do.

Sink into the ground beneath you and breathe deeply. Enjoy the change from what’s most likely recycled air to increased oxygen as it floods your lungs. Allow your breath to fall in sync with the rhythms of nature – a chirp or a coo, a gentle wind, the crashing of waves. For a minute, forget about repetitions and encourage flow through your asanas, let nature dictate the sequence in which you perform your asanas. It will inspire and rejuvenate your practice.

If you feel distracted by the elements, change your thought. Rather than a challenge, think of the four elements earth, wind , water and fire as your guide. Meditate with the flowers and leaves, find your balance in the ground beneath your feet, release your worries into the wind, feel the sun on your skin and warming your bones, push yourself into a challenging pose that will create heat in the body, imagine your breath is like the tides, going in and out. Visualize these elements moving through you as you forget fancy flooring, air conditioning, humming lightbulbs, mirrored walls. Just you and the universe. Enjoy being a part of it and it being a part of you.

* Photo credits: lululemon athletica, CrazyFast, Jordan Lewin, Shunpikie on flickr

Top 10 Wardrobe Essentials

Classics in a Woman’s Closet

Sure everybody would like to adhere to the latest trends by updating their wardrobes each season but a closet overhaul is hardly practical. Petite or plus sized, invest in these ten true wardrobe classics and you won’t have to – basic, versatile and timeless pieces that are workable with all the rest of your closet all year round. The good news is you probably already own most of these items. Choose quality and a great fit with these must haves and you can never go wrong on any occasion or be stuck with ‘nothing to wear’. The top ten wardrobe essentials are

A white shirt
This clean and crisp white button down working man’s staple in now a must have in every woman’s wardrobe. Smart and sassy, dressed up or dressed down, the basic Oxford is available in many styles now, tailored to a woman’s body and rather contemporary. Create interest by rolling up the sleeves, or pairing it with a bold scarf.

Pencil skirt
Pencil skirts are on point every season because their classic desirability keeps them coming back. They’re as flirty as they are businesslike, so stick to slimmer shapes that are so feminine and chic.

Dark jeans
Flattering as anything, a good pair of dark jeans are an essential. High waisted or low rise, straight fit or wide legged, pick a style that suits you and you feel best in.

Stylish sportswear
These days fitness and yoga wear is cooler, colourful, functional, versatile, and dare I say it, very fashionable and in no way restricted to the gym or studio. Shop for the right fitness apparel and look chic when you hit the streets even before and after.

Little Black Dress
Who can do without the fail-safe LBD, the sassiest must have of them all. Knee length or above with bare legs or sheer tights. The key is to accesorize yours differently and it will come up trumps every time.

Classic pumps
Black or nude, these hot heeled numbers are so versatile, you can pair them with all your dresses and trousers. A 2.5 inch heel will always be in vogue.

Cardigan
Light, lovely and luxurious, the cardigan can be worn out and indoors, and add a layer for warmth, color and texture without overpowering an outfit. Invest in a neutral color or one you love to wear in cashmere or a wool cotton blend.

24 hour handbag
Every woman needs a handbag that she can take from day to night. Sleek, sturdy and shapely, it can be a basic beige leather box bag or a bold statement bag to up the ante and break away from the boring.

Good basics
Don’t scrimp on good bras and underwear just because they’re not on show. If they can give you the right support and shape, your outfit can look much better on you. Bulgeless and seamless, the right bra and underwear can make you look polished in even a t-shirt and leggings and make you feel sexy.

Black trousers
Black is flattering on all figures and goes with everything. Black trousers are a staple, boardroom or bar, and can be teamed with anything from a blazer to a ruffled blouse.

Photo credits: Pictures by liss_mcbovzla, Yogacara, LollyKnit, Coutorture,

Prenatal Poses: Yoga and your Pregnancy

We’ve written about some Prenatal Yoga Poses to Ease Your Pregnancy and Help Childbirth before and so it goes. Whether a new practitioner or a veteran yogini, anyone can enjoy the wonderful benefits of yoga while pregnant. Prepare yourself for the birthing process with some gentle yoga exercises which have a positive effect on your baby and you. Many mummies-to-be and especially those who have never done yoga admit to it being the ideal form of exercise during a pregnancy while dedicated practitioners are elated that their yoga routines needn’t stop but just require modification.

If you are offered prenatal yoga classes at a nearby center, even better. You will most likely meet and gain the support of many other expectant mothers. But home practitioners don’t have to miss out. It’s important to check with your doctor if it’s okay and follow the trimester guidelines that will best exemplify what to do and what to avoid during a pregnancy.

Read on for of how to further incorporate some yoga practices into your prenatal lifestyle…

First of, anytime is a good time to begin practicing yoga in the pregnancy. The earlier the better, but some women suffer from terrible morning sickness and even low impact exercises may seem too intense. As the nausea subsides,  start to incorporate prenatal adaptations of yoga asanas as you deem fit. Be wary that you may overstretch in your pregnancy, as the body produces a chemical called relaxin that softens the pubic bones and ligaments for childbirth. But cultivate the right muscles and you will be rewarded in the birthing process. The following positions are my favorite recommendations for prenatal practice.

Viparita Karani or Legs Up The Wall
Inversions should generally be steered clear of during pregnancy but Legs Up The Wall, a passive, restorative inversion can be highly beneficial. In this mostly self explanatory position, the practitioner lies down on a mat and lifts his legs up the wall, perpendicular to the ground. This pose is well supported and gentle and does well to reduce swelling in the ankles and improve pelvic circulation. You can even touch the soles of your feet together (as you would in the Cobbler’s pose further below).

Cat-Cow stretch
Being on all fours puts your baby in an optimal position, (head down, back to your belly) increases spinal flexibility and strengthens the abdominals. The cat-cow stretch is also extremely useful for those experiencing any lower back pain. Get on your hands and knees, with your hands under shoulders & knees under hips. From this neutral position, inhale, lifting head & tail bone. Exhale, tuck tail bone under, round your back upwards, with your head down as if con-caving (cow) and con-vexing (cat) your back.

Hip Openers
And of course, try hip openers like Pigeon pose (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana), Cobbler’s or Bound Angle pose (Baddha Konasana) and the second Warrior pose (Virabhadrasana 2) which will relax the hips and groin making them more suited for childbirth.

Eka Pada Rajakapotasana

What to avoid:

• Avoid abdominal work. Allow your belly to relax and soften, which it will require for the stretch it endures during pregnancy.
• Avoid Pranayama, instead replacing it with deep inhalation and exhalation, a useful technique during childbirth.
• Avoid lying on the belly. For obvious reasons, avoid poses like Bhujaangasana or the cobra pose.
• Avoid lying on the back after the first trimester.
• Avoid deep twists that require twisting from the belly, instead incorporating low impact shoulder twists into your routine.

And most of all, remember to listen to your body and the inner voice of your yoga practise will be your best guide during this exciting time.
Slowly start to incorporate prenatal adaptations of yoga asanas as you deem fit.

*Image credits: massdistraction, pusspaw, myyogaonline, LollyKnit on flickr

Aromatherapy and the Chakras Part 2

In the last article, we began to see how aromatherapy can help balance and realign the various chakras. Here are the other five main chakras and the essential oils best suited to them.

3. Manipura (Solar Plexus Chakra)
The Manipura chakra located in the area of the navel is associated with will and power.
Physical imbalances may include: Problems of the diaphragm, kidneys, respiratory system, hormonal & digestive systems, ulcers and gallstones. Basil is good for the nervous system, intestinal antiseptic and digestion. Bergamot has antidepressant and calming properties and is good for the stomach.

Other Essential oils like carnation, gold chamomile, fennel, Juniper, lavender, sandalwood, Ginger and Lemon  will help to strengthen and keep this center protected, relaxing the body and balancing mood swings.

Oils to relax, balance mood swings, protect the solar plexus and increase confidence such as benzoin, chamomile, clary sage, geranium, jasmine, juniper, lavender, lemon, mandarin, melissa, palmarosa, sage, myrrh, helichrysum, ylang ylang and sandalwood. Collectively these will help balance and heal issues around stress, self esteem, desire, frustration, fear, guilt and doubt.

4. Anahata (Heart Chakra)
The heart chakra is the power house of the human energy system and the center of love and healing.

Physical imbalances include: stroke, angina, arthritis, heart disease, rotator cuff injuries, tendinitis, carpal tunnel, arm and hand pain, chronic restrictions in the upper back and thoracic area. Eucalyptus is an expectorant, anti-infection and a good tonic. Rose has a calming effect, which helps in calming the nerves, headaches and shock.

Marjoram, orange, rose otto, lavender, benzoin, sandalwood and bergamot will help keep the heart area open and receptive to love, and heal the heart. Essential oils that help to balance love of self and others are rose, geranium, palmarosa, neroli, melissa, hyssop, rosewood, chamomile, ylang ylang, galbanum, angelica and jasmine. Other suitable oils for this chakra include sweet orange, frankincense, himalayan cedarwood, heilchrysum and vetiver. These essential oils can help you to balance and heal emotional issues around grief and loss, emotional heaviness, sadness, feelings of despair and depression or anger turned inward, feelings of lack, loss, less than, never having enough or being good enough or not being quite up to the task of your life, feelings of being unloved, unappreciated, unaccepted, disconnected, restricted, or in some way limited and unable to find your niche in the world.

5. Visuddha (Throat Chakra)
The throat chakra is the center of our communication and rules the neck region including the thyroid, throat, trachea, neck vertebrae and mouth.

Physical imbalances may include: headache, neck tension/pain, ringing ear or tinnitus, thyroid conditions, low immunity to colds and flu, chronic infections, allergic reactions, eye problems, rigid attitudes and various phobias.

Chamomile is soothing, calming, anti-inflammatory and anti-infection. Linden blossom has calming and anti-spasmodic properties.

Other essential oils like benzoin, bergamot, blue chamomile, frankincense, hyssop, lavender, and lemon open communication skills and release stuffed unexpressed emotions that may be trapped.

Oils to enhance communication and creativity include blue chamomile, black pepper, eucalyptus, ginger, jasmine, and myrrh. Helichrysum, frankincense, lavendar, ylang ylang,and petitgrain balance and heal issues around repression of one’s thoughts and feelings, not being able, or feeling safe to speak your truth.

6. Ajna (Third Eye/Brow Chakra)
The third-eye chakra located in our forehead, between the eyes is the key to our wisdom, learning and putting things in perspective.

Physical imbalances may include: pituitary glandular disorders and kidney disease.

Use angelica seed, a general tonic, which encourages inspiration and inner focus. Other essential oils like camphor, eucalyptus, jasmine, lemon, rosemary, frankincense, chamomile blue, sandalwood, clary sage, cedarwood and cypress will help balance: both the right and left hemispheres of the brain, stimulating intuitive thinking and releases rigid, judgmental thoughts.

Oils to stimulate intuition and to clarify the mind such as basil, black pepper, carrot seed, clary sage, fennel, ginger, peppermint and rosemary. Also consider lavender, neroli, petitgrain, spikenard, and ylang ylang which aid in achieving balance and help heal obsessive compulsive thoughts and emotions, recurring nightmares, repetitive unconscious patterns of experience, inability to discern the difference between fact and fantasy, feeling of being ‘out of control’, blocks to creativity, imaginative darkness and inability to focus and manifest your dreams.

7. Sahasrara (Crown Chakra)
The Crown Chakra is our connection to our spiritual nature and connects to the central nervous system.

Physical imbalance include: pineal gland disorders, depressive states of mind.

Frankincense will aid in the handling of emotional problems as it is calming and antiseptic as well as an antidepressant. Other essential oils such as myrrh, viola, sandalwood, lavender and spikenard, petitgrain, ylang ylang are also particularly useful in helping issues around memory loss, breakdown of mental faculties for organizing and perceiving material reality, loss of inspiration; and to create balance in these areas in one’s life. Try cedarwood, linden blossom, neroli, and rosewood for opening the mind and dealing with spiritual issues.

*Image Credits : Pictures by Death Poodle, Opacity, wiccked on flickr.

Aromatherapy and The Chakras

Aromatherapy is a form of alternative medicine that uses volatile plant extracts, more commonly known as essential oils, for health purposes.

But what many people aren’t aware of is the effect of aromatherapy on the seven major chakras, the entry gates of the aura.

In previous posts, we’ve covered the influences and imbalances of the chakras, touched on some yoga asanas that will stimulate the chakras and even the effect of color on the chakras. Here we delve into another sensory relationship, the effect of aromatheraphy on the seven chakras. As essential oils are highly concentrated and potent substances, using aromatherapy practices can help one can stimulate the chakras, realigning them and bringing them into balance, relieving stress and any negative symptoms.

Emotionally, essential oils that help to ground you, include cedarwood, rosemary, patchouli and vetiver. Rosewood, frankincense, myrrh, helichrysum, ylang ylang will balance and heal issues around community or family, combating a sense of isolation from the group, the sense of not belonging, frustration, rage and blocked passion; and develop, nurture and stabilize your sense of well-being. They encourage us to feel good about our role in society.

2. Svadisthana (Sacral Chakra)
The second chakra known as the sacral chakra is your sensing power station, connecting you to your feeling sensitivities, creative sensibilities or your inner child.

Related physical imbalances may include: lumbar tension, chronic lower back pain, toxic and infectious conditions, kidney and bladder infections, immune disorders, chronic fatigue, cancer and diabetes. Clary sage is a tonic which helps in menstrual problems. Cardamom with its antiseptic and stimulant properties eases abdominal pain by relieving flatulence.

Ylang ylang has antidepressant, aphrodisiac, calming properties and aids confidence. Jasmine, patchouli, tangerine, bergamot, vanilla, sandalwood, nutmeg, oakmoss, cedarwood and rosewood also help to balance  the male/female energies and draw out the creative essence.

Aphrodisiac oils which include such as jasmine, neroli, rose otto, sandalwood, ylang ylang, and also marjoram are suitable here to assist with impotence or lack of sexual drive.

Other suitable oils for this chakra include: vetiver, myrrh, patchouli, petitigrain, sweet orange, and helichrysum. Strengthen your immune system, disperse negativity and heal issues around self esteem, rejection and victimization, toxic environmental conditions, anxiety, fear and worry.

*Image Credits : Pictures by breezeDebris, A30_Tsitika, Eggybird on flickr