The number one reason that people don’t get what they want is they don’t ask. If there’s something you want, you’ve got to know how to ask for it. You might not always get what you want, but if you don’t ask, you guarantee not getting it. Many times we think that we’d be offered something if it was available to us but it doesn’t work like that. People aren’t mind readers. They don’t know what we want until we put it forward to them.

You can ask for what you want in every situation of your life, at any moment, at any age, in business or personal life. Don’t hesitate to ask.

These are some of the common barriers to asking:

No knowledge of asking: We don’t realise that if only we asked, we’d receive.

Fear of rejection: The number one reason they don’t ask is a big fat fear of rejection, a five letter word called pride. You need to first realize you have nothing to lose. You didn’t have what you want before, and if you don’t get it now, at least you tried. You lost nothing. But chances are, you got what you wanted.

Perceived weakness: Too often we think it shows weakness or vulnerability to ask questions or to ask for something we want. The contrary is true.

Low self-esteem and confidence: A general feeling of unworthiness, a belief that “your needs” are not important.

Ignorance and not knowing how to ask: Sometimes this is the biggest barrier. We don’t know what is available to us, we don’t know what to ask for and how to ask for it.

How to ask:

Be specific: Be detailed about what you would like – what percentage increase, what colour shoes, how many days off. Be vague and receive vague. Be specific and the results will be far more desirable.

Ask for what you want, not for what you don’t want: Be positive in your approach to asking. Don’t ask somebody to stop being late, for you are reinforcing the lateness. Instead ask them to be on time.

Ask the right person: You have to pose the question to somebody who has the power to grant your wish.

But ask thoughtfully. Remember the phrase ‘Be careful what you wish for, for you just might get it’ exists for a reason. It’s absolutely true. To use a much abused cliche, ask and you shall receive.

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*Image Credits : Pictures by Moriza, Dustin Diaz, Toni Blay on flickr.